baracknobama:

me: *mocks parents for not understanding technology*

me: *has to google how to cook an egg*

(via baracknobama)

tricksythieves:

Dunno if bobbing the teabag actually helps the tea steep faster but it sure is fun to feel a part of something

(via selfiecentered)

sobbingangel:

Me @ myself: why :) the Fuck™ :) did :) you :) do :) that :):):)

(via homo225)

Wow I cannot believe I am losing sleep right now because of this. It should be illegal to cut someone out of your life with no warning or explanation and then pop in a year and a half later with “thinking a lot about you lately” bullshit. Maybe lead with an apology or an explanation for the abrupt and lengthy cold shoulder? I’ve come up with a million questions and things to say but all of them will just result in more tears and confusion.

countcracula:

my brain, interrupting my daydream: this is poorly researched and the narrative is not compelling

(via baracknobama)

sunsetquotes:

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”

— David Foster Wallace

wizard-lizards:

me:stands up

my blood vessels: what the

FUCK

did you just do

(via freckledhaze)

dragonprincessmew:

In my defense, your honor, I really am the dumbest bitch alive

(via locomortor-mortis)

shitispuffinup:

Me when I get in bed: ooooh I’m a warm little bich!!!

(via freckledhaze)

bisqueware:

I need to like, lint roll myself. On a physical and emotional level

(via peanutbutterflower)